Family Self

Let’s talk Parental Influence

Our parents pass on their knowledge and beliefs to us influencing the vast majority of our waking adult life through the subconscious process, unless we deliberately become more conscious.

If your parents are connected to their true nature you will likely grow up confident, accomplished and happy.  If your parents are disconnected from self and guided by societal norms you were likely invalidated as a child, albeit inadvertantly.  Growing up with a mentality of scarcity may stop you pursuing your dreams because you will feel you should follow a safe but unfulfilling path.

Once you fly the nest your parents voice becomes your inner voice and you can be sure if this voice is harsh you were criticised a lot as a child.  Parents who are disconnected from themselves look to outside influences for validation, aka their children.  If your parents required you to behave a certain way so as not to embarrass them they were looking to you to validate them as parents.  Children aren’t supposed to validate their parents because they are not mature enough to do so.

Making a child behave a certain way for your own comfort is to deny their natural expression, even if you believe you are just teaching them to be good people.  Your child may have very different skills and abilities to yourself and rejecting anything that doesn’t resonate with you shows a lack of understanding.  Invalidating a child’s feelings, perceptions, desires and creativity will cause them to struggle with self doubt in later life.  A parent who doesn’t know to validate their child’s authentic expression is causing untold harm to that child’s future wellbeing and self concept.

Humans were not designed to seek external validation beyond the toddler years and this need for external validation in adulthood is the cause of many work and relationship problems. Children are born feeling valid and it’s a parents role to not invalidate them.

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