When you seriously decide to look at the unconscious guilt and fear in the mind be prepared for the most intense rage and hatred to surface. In A Course in Miracles, Jesus states that anger is never justified because it’s simply a projection of unconscious guilt stemming from the illusory separation from God. He doesn’t want you to hide it, project it onto others, or punish yourself either.
You often feel as though you are doing something wrong when darkness comes up, but it is an important part of the healing process and a wonderful opportunity to purge unwanted stories and emotions. You should try not to project it onto others or blame yourself because it is perfectly sane to want freedom from insanity. It is the beliefs and thoughts underneath the rage that must be seen as untrue and released. Rage is not personal, it is the collective ego beliefs that need to be let go. The anger you feel comes from the erroneous belief that God created a world in which you could be unfairly treated. You can’t change the external world because it is a dream that was over long ago, but you can change your mind and see the illusory world for the nothingness it really is.
As your faith and trust increases you will venture deeper and deeper into the darkness until eventually, you break through to the light beyond the ring of fear. This journey into darkness is akin to slaying an illusory dragon and you have to be ready and willing to face it in manageable chunks. It may not feel terribly manageable when you are experiencing it but be assured you are never given more than you can actually handle. When the darkness is coming up you may feel lost at sea, unbearably disorientated, terrified, enraged, and strongly compelled to distract yourself in some way. Your projected self-hatred for seemingly separating from your source is murderous, horrific, terrifying, and frustrating. You feel as though you are experiencing some sort of exorcism and being purged of your demons, which is simply the ego losing its control bit by bit. You have to fully look at your self-hatred and see it for the nonsense it is before it makes sense to let it go.
No one is actually doing anything to you against your will, because other people are really ego thoughts made flesh. What others seem to do to you is created by unconscious guilt, fear, and hatred in the mind. You disown it and therefore have to be on the receiving end of it. The outside world is the story you gave away. Some of it seems wonderful and some of it grotesque. Essentially you create people doing the unwanted things they appear to do to you because you feel deep down you deserve them. You inadvertently punish yourself for throwing the Kingdom of Heaven away and then sneakily blame others for doing so. You think if you punish yourself God will take pity on you and let you off, but God never condemned you in the first place.
The ego trap of projection can be very disturbing and is what creates the appearance of a malevolent external world. The ego created enough loveliness to dupe us into thinking God created this world and that Heaven can be found here by improving the illusory human self. This is of course no more possible than a cat being able to separate itself from its own tail through circular chasing
Allowing the anger up in a safe space is essential to our well-being, otherwise, it manifests physically as sickness, relational challenges, thoughtless actions, and addictions. Anger is not considered socially acceptable so is often stuffed back down and repressed. Eventually, it has to be faced when the psyche needs to grow.
Knowing that you create your own pain and lack is non too pleasing either and can fuel the rage at yourself even further. Once you have decided to face your own darkness and not blame others you really are forced to see just how evil the ego beliefs in the unconscious mind truly are. Thankfully evil is 100% illusory and can be transcended entirely with humility, determination, and the loving guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit doesn’t want you to fester in your anger, it wants you to feel it and look at it from the perspective of divine intelligence. The Holy Spirit wants you to see it for the nonsense it really is. Often when you feel anger you think it is forced upon you by external circumstances, but it is always a choice to misperceive situations and listen to the ego. Sometimes you get so lost in the rage it can take a bit of time to remember to take your power back. However, once this is realised and acted upon, sanity can return very quickly. I find watching something funny or being of service to others helps me snap out of an ego loop.
Once you know all problems are self-created you can’t backtrack without feeling guilt. Consciousness doesn’t go backwards and each time you overcome uncomfortable emotions you become a little more acquainted with the strong and wise part of your true nature. During the often lengthy process of raising unconscious darkness to the light, you can feel as though you are on a never-ending journey through hell.
You can rest assured that once ego identification is seen as nonsense and transcended, permanent peace of mind is possible.